I feel really excited to be launching MoreBitsFallOff.com, a title and idea which has been buzzing around in my head for over a year now, refusing to go away – and raising a chuckle with everyone to whom I mentioned it. It isn’t just the oldies amongst us who recognise that entropy (the progressive running down of all systems) is an essential reality of being alive. Sooner or later, Time wins – and we lose. Younger folk get this too.
The more I repeated the title, and the more instant laughter it received, the clearer I became that in there was a new blog waiting to be born. I am fortunate to have made a new friend in my downstairs neighbour Emily Cutts. She and her husband and young son have brought light into all our lives in our communal building. Emily is a bright, reflective and very well read person whose insights I really value – she is a keen proponent of Positive Psychology (see her Bio) as well as being a devoted parent.
Emily has been an enthusiastic supporter of the idea of MoreBitsFallOff.com. Running ideas past her has been very helpful in clarifying my aims and objectives. So – I am delighted to have her as the first Guest – and was very touched and pleased to discover the warm comments she has made about me in this thoughtful essay. (No, I didn’t pay her, how dare you!)
Over to you, Emily….
Anne Whitaker and I became friendly when my husband and I moved in downstairs almost 2 years ago. We now get together fairly often for coffee and a catch up. Those of you who know Anne personally will know how interesting her company is. Our conversations have often touched upon aspects of modern culture and some of its values. This is one of the reasons why, when Anne invited me to participate as a Guest blogger, I decided to write about values and well-being.
I’d also just had a discussion with my grandfather, about a hospital eye check up he recently had. After his appointment, a man on crutches asked him for help to cross the street. My grandfather happily agreed. Only, both the man in crutches and my grandfather were almost blind from eye drops! I found the image of them trying to navigate across Great Western Road (a busy road in Glasgow, Scotland UK) very funny. More than this, however, I was struck by how motivated my grandfather was to help others, even when he could hardly see; it also highlighted how trusting the man on crutches was to receive the help.
This event sticks with me because it brought to mind the values of my grandfather’s generation. It seems to me that their dominant values are different from ours; they appear to have valued other people, the community and society much more than we do today. Professor Alexander Astin has shown this. With data from around 200,000 people Astin has examined the changing values within society from the 1960’s to the 1990’s. He has found that values have changed.
For example, in the 60’s around 80% of students thought that it was very important or essential to have a meaningful philosophy of life; this decreased to around 40% in the late 1990’s. At the same time, he found that materialistic values rose. Those who thought that it was very important or essential to ‘be very well off financially’ rose from 40 % in the 60’s to 70% in the 80’s.
The reason that this area fascinates me so much is that when you look around at our culture, materialistic values are everywhere. People are taught to think that possessions and status will bring fulfillment in life. Being famous, for example, appears to have become a goal for many people and this is fueled by the media and television. Just think about ‘Big Brother’ or ‘The X Factor.’
Society overplays the importance of money too. While we do need money to meet our basic needs, beyond a certain point money does not contribute to well-being (unless you spend it on others). However, people are led to believe wrongly that events such as winning the lottery, say, will bring lasting happiness. Employers and parents are encouraged to reward good behaviour and hard work with money, prizes and gifts rather than non material things such as time off or an experience.
This stems from modern marketing and advertising which tell us that we need these things to feel good about ourselves. Marketers, advertisers and the media also promote other materialistic values such as appearance: we highly value the young and good looking (think of Susan Boyle and the reaction she has caused for bucking the trend). Have a look at the many magazines and TV shows which promote the right look and model perfection: an almost impossible goal to achieve.
All of this encourages people to focus much more on themselves and their own happiness and success, than that of others, in order to find greater meaning in life. This, ironically, then undermines the very thing people are looking for. This is because meaning in life is not gained from focusing on oneself: in fact this can lead to depression, anxiety and a loss of meaning.
A meaningful life usually involves a goal larger than the individual, for example, society, nature, god/s or the community. While social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter can add to people’s self obsession and encourage them to focus too much on their own lives. Social networking can be positive. But I think it is often a breeding ground for people to demonstrate materialistic values, and some of the research supports this too.
Joys of Parenting
As a parent, I notice how materialism influences child rearing. We are encouraged to use things to entertain our children, such as TV and toys, rather than cultivating our relationship with them or their imagination, creativity and relationships with others. Education too seems to be becoming more materialistic, especially in the States. For example, pupils in some schools in Florida get advertising on their report cards. Though it is extreme in the States the UK is not far behind. In relation to learning, we emphasise marks above the learning and understanding of a subject, a by-product of which is those marks.
This rise in materialistic values is evident within society. But are there any costs of holding such values? Psychologist Tim Kasser from John Knox University has studied just this. He is interested in the goals and values people hold and how these impact on nearly all areas of life. He has found that when people value fame, money and good looks over things such as people, personal growth and the environment, they and others suffer.
Kasser demonstrates through various experiments, spanning over 20 years, that endorsing such values impacts upon the social, psychological and ecological aspects of life. Kasser’s studies have found that people holding these values tend to be “less pro social, more anti social, more competitive less cooperative, less likely to contribute to the public good because they’re more focused on themselves and their own good.”
Not only is there a reduction in social cohesion but materialistic values impact upon the environment too. The more people care about materialism, the more they are likely to engage in ecologically degrading behaviours, to live unsustainable lifestyles. Kasser’s findings are surprising because they demonstrate very clearly the direct negative effect of valuing possessions.
Kasser does give some ideas in his book The High Price of Materialism about how to counteract materialism, some of which I think are very interesting and applicable. For example, he suggests rewarding staff, who have worked hard and done a good job, with time off to spend with family or to pursue hobbies, rather than giving them money. Or at least, he suggests, give people the option of either money or time.
Despite Kasser’s suggestions for change, I still often feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the materialistic world in which we live because of the way it envelopes our lives. I remember discussing this with Anne; she said something along the lines of ….. “ if you can influence your immediate group of friends and family, then you are doing your bit; you can then hope that other groups of people are doing the same thing. This way change will happen….”
Recent research supports this too. Studies found that traits such as happiness and obesity are contagious: if your friends are happier it is likely you will be too. This gives me hope as it makes me feel that I can change things, even if only a little.
Materialism is clearly not working. It’s about time we tipped the balance towards endorsing values which will positively influence ourselves, others and the world in which we live.
Examples are cultivating more gratitude, kindness, forgiveness, love and humility in the world, all are traits which bring increased happiness and well-being. It’s time to shift some of these materialistic values. I think Anne is a great example of changing values in action. She is inspiring because she lives the values she holds, and encourages people to look at their own philosophy of life, and her great website (ie “Writing from the Twelfth House”) is just one example of how she does it. I think that the old values of my grandfather’s generation are still around but it is just that they are not dominant. I hope that in time, there might be as Kasser calls it a revolution of values: toward cultivating meaning in life, away from merely acquiring things as an end in themselves.
Emily and son Lauchie
Emily works for the pioneering Centre for Confidence and Well-being in Glasgow, Scotland UK, on a freelance basis as a Psychology researcher. She has also co-created and taught
on Psychology of Well-being courses. Her interests lie in the science of motivation and education, though also in the general area of well-being: anything which helps us understand what makes people tick, and how to improve life.
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1700 words copyright Emily Cutts/Anne Whitaker 2010
Licensed under Creative Commons – for conditions see Home Page
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